One for the Fridge

The fridge was the bulletin board of the American home. From invitations and appointments to the kids’ latest drawings and photos, we put everything there, held with magnets. Mind you, fridges were made of something magnetic then. And photos were actual hard copies. For me, fridge exhibit space and sticky notes came together serendipitously. Someone said something I loved, so I scribbled it onto a sticky and slapped it on the fridge. Eventually there were a dozen or more and people went to the kitchen to read them as soon as they arrived. Friends sometimes made pithy remarks and stared at me expectantly. Rules had to be established. You couldn’t be trying to get on the fridge.

Time passed. The fridge took on a dusty feathered look. I took the stickies down, typed them up. Then I started teaching and began collecting the student quotes that were published here in 2013. (Look them up.) Collecting “fridgeables” came to an end. Some of these are decades old. Some are by friends no longer living and preserving them is bittersweet. Some have multiple quotes, not because everything they say is dazzling, but because I see—or saw them often, or when paper and pen were handy. I submit these as proof that friends and family enrich our lives with laughter and insight.

There are so many interesting things in life, you can hardly get on with it. —Dixon Staples

Memories are not recordings but defenses. —Bob Topp

Speaking of cow words used to describe human behavior in French: The word “bovine” isn’t used nearly enough in English. —Marilyn Auer

On watching the splintering stick her two-year-old son was playing with: That’s the problem with natural matter: it breaks down. —Snow Ford

I’m tired of this Walmart mentality. —Phil Normand

There’s so much of my life that I wasn’t present for. —Sid Werntz

Speculating on why he’s two weeks behind schedule: Sometimes time isn’t as long as I think it’s going to be. —Mark Jameson

Snow Ford, talking about what she’s learned from her marriage: You can only control yourself.

Sable Rall, hearing the above quote: And sometimes, not even that.

I’m just another Mexican, crying in the wilderness. —Carlos Martinez

If this job gets to me, I’ll quit. My needs aren’t that elaborate. —Toni Potter

On being asked to try a new restaurant: I never go any place I haven’t already been. —Brad Mudge

Discussing his failure to cook while his wife was away: I used to get disgusted by guys like me. —Danny Salazar

I’d rather have a working man than a cooking man. —Cindi Threet

If you know how to make oatmeal cookies, I’ll follow you home. —John Jones

Hablo porque tengo boca. I talk because I have a mouth. —Carlos May-Gamboa

On being asked to meet for a movie on the spur of the moment: We’re too old to be spontaneous. —Jeffrey Ruben-Dorsky

On the rising cost of visiting Prague: I hate it when countries come out of the third world. —Donna Altieri

Anything that eats can be trained. —Rose Reasoner

You can’t raise birds unless you’re a bird yourself. —Minor Meany

On cats: You can have their reproductive capacity fixed, but not their attitudes. —Bob Jaeger

If you want to get the show done, rent the hall. —Angel Vigil

The world is full of people who go faster than I do. —Richard Slavich

Sincerity is not a measure of art. —Phil Normand

In reference to the average American work week: The hunter-gatherers had it better than us. —Len Surprenant

It’s clear we are all fools. —Dixon Staples

I like people who’ve had complex lives: you have to have a few bumps to be interesting. —Toni Potter

On being asked to define mensch: Mensch! Nobody’s a mensch; most people are schmucks. —Alice Rybak

The thing about cell phones is you never have to be where you are. —Marilyn Auer

On being told that his intelligence restored an adult’s faith in the younger generation: Alas, I’m not representative of my generation. —Shane Ford

I’m not much of a creator, but I’m a great continuer. —Bill Gibson

On spending an hour programming his ipad to operate the TV: It’s a good thing I don’t have anything else serious to do besides trying to keep up with the fucking twenty-first century. —Phil Normand

A genuine liberal arts education is not in the best interests of the republic. —Rick VanDeWeghe

The only youth-related issue Americans care about is abortion: we don’t like live children at all. —Toni Potter

I wouldn’t go to church either if I weren’t the minister of one. —Rev. Karl Kopp

I don’t have any particular need to deal with reality. —Carlos Martinez

We haven’t planned our lives because we’ve been innately suspicious of the idea that there’s anywhere to get to. —Phil Normand

On why she spends so much of her retirement in volunteer work: The worst thing I can do is nothing. —Cat Haskins